How difficult is it to hand out movie awards to avaricious recipients who are more than willing to accept them? It's apparently overwhelming, wildly so, if one is to judge this dubious exercise by what The Independent Spirit Awards and The 83rd Oscarcast - polar opposites in temperament - separately wrought this weekend.
A deadly dose of forced fun and self-conscious trendiness was the hallmark of The Independent Spirit Awards (aired by the Independent Film Channel late Saturday evening), a show that got off to an immediate bad start with host Joel McHale's adolescent opening monologue.
McHale, who is genuinely funny and usually reliable, set the base tone of the evening, practically inviting presenters and winners alike to be as crass as possible. And everyone seemed more than willing to comply.
The show reached its nadir when Craig Robinson, so witty on "The Office," sat down at a piano to sing an obscene (and seemingly endless) saloon song that managed to make even devil rum and dirty sex both unappealing.You needed a body-sized prophylactic to get through this show.
The Oscarcast, lavish as usual (you could nearly smell the money on ABC last night), has already been ripped by Roger Ebert and Tim Goodman in The Hollywood Reporter.
Yes, it was a trainwreck from the get-go, what with a montage (also seemingly endless) which insinutated the charmless hosts James Franco and Ann Hathaway into clips from the ten films nominated for Best Picture. Frankly, I had completely forgotten that there were ten films nominated again this year - quick! name them! - given that only four titles ("The Social Network," "The King's Speech," "The Fighter" and "Black Swan") have been discussed for the past two months.
Where to start? Franco stood there like a stick throughout the show (legs apart, hands cupped at his crotch), with a smug, complacent smirk on his face. (Or is that the way he always smiles?) He seemed superior to the whole thing and made no eye contact whatsoever with Hathaway.
Heck, he hardly even looked at her.
Hathaway, meanwhile, worked overtime, perhaps trying to make up for Franco's vacancy. She changed her outfit at least a half dozen times and was totally "on" - in her wide-eyed, gee-whiz, "ain't-Hollywood-grand-?" mode. Which I can take only in small doses. The woman is exhausting.
Hathaway has that brand of confidence and self-satisfaction that makes it seem as if she's always hugging herself. She also did a gratuitous solo, for no apparent reason other than to show what a gosh-darn great singing voice she has. It was capped with Franco walking on stage, crossdressed as Marilyn Monroe. Why? The "bit" ended there. It went nowhere.
On "Morning Joe" today, Joe Scarborough bemoaned the fact that she was stuck on stage with Franco because Hathaway is such "a great actress." On what basis? "Rachel Getting Married"? That's one film and that's it. In other films, she's never been more than competent.
But Hathaway is preferrable to Franco, who uttered the single most jaw-dropping line of the night when, after Marisa Tomei introduced the technical winners (whose awards were given at a separate event), Franco shouted "Congratulations, nerds!" He should talk.
DVR problems, so I missed it.
ReplyDeleteOr, based on what I read earlier from Ebert and now from you, I didn't miss anything except "The Amazing Race" which was set to record around the same time.
excellent, dude
ReplyDeleteI like Hathaway more than you, Joe (with the exceptions of Bride Wars and Valentine's Day). Found the pairing of the two hosts like a bad blind date: He wanted to go home, she was trying to make it work.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with hiring actors for this gig is that when the writing doesn't work (pretty much the entire show in this case), they're stranded. So she got even more desperate while he just sorta shut down.
ReplyDeleteFranco looked lost, but I thought she was fine. It's a relief to see someone who's comfortable with show biz glamour at a big movie event like the Oscars, and who avoids the "too cool for the room" approach of the quipster comics who so often host. The problem, I fear, is in the nature of the event itself, which is, at its heart, an annual corporate awards dinner. As Robert Benchley understood so well, that is a beast forever doomed to be both ludicrous and tedious. No host - not even Benchley himself - can cure that problem. (In addition to "Rachel," I've enjoyed Ella Enchanted, Becoming Jane, The Devil Wears Prada, and Get Smart among Hathaway's movies, by the way. Still haven't seen Brokeback Mountain, I'm sorry to say.)
ReplyDeleteExcellent! I only saw godawful snippets of that show called the Oscar's last night while clicking over from watching DiNiro in Meet the Parents which had me roaring (call me plebian). I simply had no desire to watch it since I have not gone to the movies for most of the year. Dreck in my opinion. The only bit I saw that I liked was the producers/writers of "Inside Job" winning and going up and stating the truth--three years have passed and no one has been prosecuted!! Best line of the night I imagine.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your blog. I mercifully missed the Independent Spirit awards. The Oscars were completely unwatchable. I was so happy to see Billy Crystal, I almost gave him a standing ovation.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. I thought the show was one of the dullest and most boring of all times. I was very disappointed and glad I did not waste my money going to a big party to watch it. How did they ever come up with the choice of hosts? They should have kept Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin or beg for Billy Crystal to return.
ReplyDeleteWhat did you think of Kirk Douglas?
Greatly enjoyed. Very entertaining, insightful & well written.
ReplyDeleteYes, I was disappointed that this was the first time in many a year for me to set aside an entire evening to devote to the Oscars, and the hosts and script turned out to be the worst in history. I didn't even know who James Franco was beforehand, and I've always been underwhelmed by Anne Hathaway. Franco looked lost throughout, like he was impatiently waiting for a train that never arrived. Billy Crystal's arrival woke up the audience -- they seemed so relieved to see him! Thanks for the review. Very accurate, I'd say. James and Anne must be so embarrassed and humiliated now, though. I feel bad for them. They just weren't up to the task.
ReplyDeleteI didn't watch the Oscars, partly because of the flu and partly because I'm so annoyed that Joaquin Phoenix was ignored for Best Actor, which he was. And his film should have been nominated for Best Picture. Yes, I'm serious. Did you see it on the big screen? Now back to lying down and gobbling Tylenol.
ReplyDeletep.r.: I agree. "I'm Still Here," the Joaquin Phoenix-Casey Affleck collaboration was absolutely singular. And, yes, I did see it on the big screen. However, as we both know, that film never stood a chance in this world of middle-borw entertainment that's mindlessly endorsed by critics who think they are high brow. Not!
ReplyDeleteRoberta- Frankly, I thought Douglas was an embarrassment. I've no idea why his family would let him exhibit and expolit himself like that. This is not how his fans want to remember him and, no, he was not charming playing a dirty old man. Sad.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I agree with you. Douglas looked like the walking dead and was quite embarrassing. We need to remember Spartacus or Van Gogh.
ReplyDeleteLast Sunday night I heard a scream of undying anguish.
ReplyDeleteI thought to myself,"Poor Joe, Mark Ruffalo must have just won Best Supporting Actor." I was shocked to find out that Christian Bale won instead.
Found out later that the scream came from President Obama upon finding out that Matt Damon is not very happy with his job performance so far.
Huh? Damon, a rabid supporter of Obama in the last primary, never criticized the President for a poor performance. On the contrary, he commented that he's become too "conservative," the new dirty word in my vocabulary.
ReplyDelete